最苦的工作

小时候经常听爸爸妈妈说现在的孩子都是从蜜罐里长大的，从来没吃过苦，被家长娇生惯养的都不成样子。以前一直也没把这句话当一回事，也就是听听而已。 因为那时在国内，大家都是一个样，都是独生子女，都是小皇帝小公主，衣来伸手饭来张口。即便有时开开主题班会，批判一下这样的作风，也不过是乌鸦笑猪黑。

直到来了美国，才感觉到自己真不如人，不但什么都不懂，而且什么都不会做。社会知识极其缺乏，独立意识极其差。不过还是很庆幸我能有机会来到美国，能有机会把自己好好劳动改造一下。

记得上高中时，所有的同学都有工作。有的在快餐店打工，有的在公司打工，只有我什么都不干，放学就回家。看到同学们都有自己的收入，我觉得自己就是个孩子。可是我当时只是学生签证，没有办法在外面打工，就只好托朋友找了一个私人的临时工，帮一位阿姨一起打扫银行。当时刚听说这份工作的时候心里很犯嘀咕，心想我堂堂一个留学生怎么能去给人家当清洁工，实在是没面子，让人家看见怎么能抬起头来。可是听说她付我一小时7美元，我也就顾不了那么多了。就这样，高三那年，在上课，复习SAT,ACT和TOEFL之间，我每天晚上打扫5家银行，从下午5点半一直干到晚上10点半。工作的任务就是擦桌子，吸地板，擦地板和倒垃圾。一星期还要擦一次玻璃。在这期间，我经常能遇到晚上加班的银行老总们，他们总是很和善，从来没因为我是清洁工就瞧不起我。这使我想起了在国内我初中毕业那年暑假，我一夏天没事干，就想找个临时工打打工挣点钱。于是想到去妈妈的宾馆当清洁工。可是当时就被人家拒绝，说是总经理的儿子怎么能去当清洁工，没有人敢雇用我。从那时我就开始觉得清洁工是低人一等的工作。

到了大学，也是一直在找工作，可是运气就没有那么好，直到大一下半年才通过梅燕（我的一个马来西亚的大姐）找到了一份在植物病理学院的工作。当时一直以为是在实验室里的工作，后来才听老板说夏天的收割季节要到外面收割小麦。我当时也没当回事，觉得收割小麦有什么了不起，我能打扫银行就不能收割小麦么？

可是真正到了试验田里，才知道收割小麦是什么滋味。 在三十八九度的烈日下，一点儿风都没有。我手里拿着镰刀，面对那一望无际的麦田，扑面而来的虫子，真是不知所措。我记得我当时心里想，我估计我爸当年下乡也和这个差不多吧！可是越想心里越不痛快，毕竟我也是个大学生啊，将来是要做电脑工程师的，怎么能干这个呢！可是既然拿了这份工，我也别无选择，只好低着头慢慢割。当汗珠流进眼里，也分不清究竟是太阳晒得眼睛睁不开，还是盐水杀的眼睛睁不开。这才真正体会到了农民的不易，以前在课本里读到的全都是白扯。记得我第一次去割麦子，一点经验都没有，怕热就穿了短裤。结果小腿被麦茬割得全是口子，汗水出来流进伤口里，疼！

这样下去一干就是3年半，直到我大学毕业读研。春天播种，夏天秋天收割，冬天在实验室里打种，主要就是和小麦，黄豆打交道。大学毕业后，心中顿生对父辈的敬意，这才真正体会到他们那时上山下乡有多苦。

我17岁来美国读书，本是想逃脱父母的管制，结果被美国给劳动改造了一番，既当了清洁工，又当了农民。如果我能重新选择，我还会选择这一条路。

我现在的女朋友慧萍，也和我在一起割过麦子，很简单的一件事，让我看到了她的与众不同。

我今天翻到了这张照片，是我大学时和梅燕，Peter 一起收割麦子的情景，让我一下子想起了这么多。（后面那个机器是把麦粒从麦穗上打下来）

在这之后我还做过饭馆服务生，教授的助理，公司的实习生。现在终于做成了电脑工程师，想想看已经是自己的第六个工作了。

你做过得最苦的工作是什么呢？

Sunny Morning

Joe (my Operating System professor) didn’t show up for class today, so we were dismissed. I am wondering around campus and don’t know what to do. today is pretty nice, sunshine everywhere. it has been rainning on and off for almost 2 weeks seems like, and finally we got some sunshine. i am supposed to preparing for my exam tomorrow but somehow i just don’t feel like doing it. i guess warm days make people lazy, or maybe it’s just me.

this semester is almost over and it went really fast. i usually have some memory about each semester i spent here, however this semester seems somewhat empty. not many exciting things or maybe i just forgot about them. i somehow felt like i am living in my freshman year. my hair is getting longer and i tend to wear dressy clothes again. during my 2nd and 3rd year i wore nothing but jeans and t-shirts, but yesterday when mengmeng asked me, “why do you like to wear leather shoes?”, i thought i am back to my freshman year again.

this friday SeungGwon and i will have dinner together with James, and i will see the dogs again, maybe i should buy some dog cookies for them. SeungGwon’s gonna borrow his old car to drive to UIUC to see Aya, and i hope he can keep awake the whole time when he is driving, as a matter of fact he must do so. last night we were discussing about what kind of women we like and start looking for pictures on the internet to show as an example. He likes those girls that looks very pure and cute, “good girl” looking and seems  very good to be housewife. while i tend to like those with big eyes and wild-looking. like the japanese girl in the movie “Kill-Bill”, i think her name is Go-Go Yubari. i don’t think this is her real name though. but anyway, she looks extreamly cute to me. maybe SeungGwon’s more mature than me (well, definitly yes), and my taste probably will change when i get older.

ah, her name is Chiaki Kuriyama.

Tuesday

Last night SeungGwon and I went to see Russell Crowe’s “Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World”. It was a good movie but not great. SeungGwon seemed enjoyed it a lot. It did show tons of male spirit, which can teach a person how to be a real man. However, it kept reminding me about other movies while I was watching. The customs and the fighting scenes reminded me about Mel Gibson’s movie “The Patriot”, and the sailing scenes reminded me about George Clooney’s “The Perfect Storm”. It just doesn’t have its own unique character. Surprisingly the movie rating is extremely high. If I’ve known the movie was like this, I’d rather spend my 6 dollars on Will Ferrell’s “Elf”.

Today went pretty good so far, RWS showed us the entire homework solution in class this morning, and you bet I copied everything! Haha! However there is a test coming on Thursday, but I don’t think it’ll be too hard.

I had Sushi for lunch and it tasted kinda watery. Maybe the fish is too old or something, but hopefully I will be okay.

Anyway, my lunch break is over, I’d better get back to work.

Updated Photo Album

After almost half a month, I finally added something in my photo album. Go check it out. A little note here, in the addition, only the sunset and devil’s den are my pictures, the rest I found on the internet, however, since I don’t know who the authors are, I cannot give credit to them.

Since my birthday, I haven’t really done anything. Well, I finished 2 exams and I haven’t got the results yet, hopefully I did okay. It has been raining those days and I have been very lazy. Now it’s a slow Sunday night, well technically Monday morning, I am listening to bluegrass and writing this thing.

Last night I was talking to openice through QQ for almost 5 hours. Basically we were having a discussion about the existence of God. It went pretty intense and interesting. One thing made me glad is that she really cares, no matter what she believes right now, not like some other people I have talked with, they don’t even give a damn. So, I think I am gonna do my best to explain things to her and provide her opportunities to know more about God, although I am still having difficulties understand things and me myself haven’t been born again yet. However, I felt extremely useful since I could be a media or a tool to pass God’s words to her. I had the same feeling when I was donating blood, thinking about how many people’s life my blood will save. Ah, sweet morning.

Thanksgiving is coming and I am going to Huston to see MeiYien with a bunch of friends. I am really looking forward to that and I think I will also have a chance to see the ocean. I haven’t seen the ocean for almost 3 years. Last time it was January of 2001 I think with Michelle in LA. It was after dinner I think and it was pretty dark and cold. Hopefully this time I can see some sunshine or maybe I can take some pictures of sunrise or sunset over the sea, that’ll be awesome.

Before that, I need to finish reading a book and writing a book report for my western civilization class, and a BIG test for my POOP class. POOP = Perl Object Oriented Programming, just in case you were wondering.

Talking about poop, I read an article tonight about how to prevent water splashing from the toilet bowl when you poop. I cannot believe someone would take the time and wrote more than 50 tricks to do that, and I also cannot believe someone would spend more than 10 minutes to read it, well, like me. Haha. It was fun though.

SeungGwon and I didn’t go to dinner with James this weekend since James had company coming to visit him. I kinda miss Kate and Rudy a bit, and I remember we were talking about whether Max could live pass Christmas, I hope he could.

After thousands of invitations from me, SeungGwon finally went to ISCA with me this Saturday night. Ha, I felt very successful and I cannot wait to tell this to MeiYien. He seemed enjoyed it although he was a little nervous. I hope he could go more often later on. And it was such a pity that Aya didn’t get to go when she was there. Hey Aya, next time you come back to Fayetteville, you need to go to ISCA with me, you hear me? Yeah, I am talking to you. ^^ SeungGwon’s been having problems with his chip, and it doesn’t seem to work right. He’s been pretty depressed about it, and keep talking about being kick out of school and going back to Korea. I just wish he could take it easy and be patient about it. Or maybe he’s kinda stressed out since he’s graduating in a month. Wish him good luck.

Talking about weird things, my ex-ex-girlfriend (haha) just emailed me out of the blue, after not contacting each other for almost 3 years. Well, I think it’s probably the best to keep things the way it has been for those 3 years.

Happy Birthday

I turned 22 today. It went pretty quiet and smooth. I went to dinner with Mengmeng and SeungGwon at Penguin Eds, and then went watch the movie “The Matrix Revolutions” at its premier. It was a great movie, although I didn’t fully understand what happened to Neo, what happened to Agent Smith, although Matrix has turned from a Sci-Fi movie to a more Action-Adventure Movie, it’s still a good movie. All those are not bad for a 22 years birthday, but the one thing I like most is all the greetings I got from all my friends. Made me feel so warm inside. What does it mean to turn 22? Where am I going from now? I am not so sure. Have I become more mature from last year? Definitely yes. Think over this past year, I don’t ever wanna go through it again.

So, happy birthday!

Awakenings

It’s Friday again, I almost forgot how fast time goes by. I think by this Saturday the daylight saving time is supposed to end, at least I can gain one more hour of sleep. I thought after 5 months I can finally get used to being alone, but after finishing everything for the day, that emptiness still hits me in the head, makes me staring at the keyboard for like forty minutes.

James is not feeling very well today, he looks quite tired and weak. He’s been feeling dizzy all day and I am really worried about him. For a man who is more than 70 years old, who knows what that could mean? Like his Max, I am just afraid one day when I come by his door, no one’s gonna open it for me any more. Maybe I think too much. I finally see Kate again today; it felt pretty good. I never thought I could get so attached to her. Two weeks ago she’s still just a cute dog, but now she’s already my goofy-quiet Kate. She seems knows how I felt, when I open the door, she directly came to me and won’t let go. SeungGwon likes Rudy better, but I think he’s a little too jumpy, or maybe he’s just being a 10 months old dog. James told me Kate was abused when she was young, and someone cut her tail off. I just couldn’t believe someone could do such things to a dog with such big cute eyes. We went to Penguin EDs again and had the same old BBQ, instead, no one’s talking this time, and it seems quiet and helpless.

This Friday night goes quietly and smoothly, and I just noticed that I have been using the word “quiet” 3 times already; it’s a little scary. I watched a movie called “Awakenings”, starring Robert De Niro and Robin Williams. “Awakenings”. It’s a somewhat old movie (1990) directed by Penny Marshall based on a true story. After watching it, I am speechless. I was planning to introduce it to you guys, but I realize that I could not think of anything to describe it. It touched me so much and there is still a mess inside my head right now. Maybe I need sometime to get over it. I found some comments on Amazon.com about this movie, and I’d like to use them to tell you guys what kind movie it is. If you have a chance, please rent it and watch it. If you don’t think it’s a good movie, email me, and I am gonna pay for it.

Rockets beat Spurs tonight with 84:63, and Yao Ming did an excellent job. I hope on tonight’s World Series game, the Yankees could win and brings it to the 7th game. We are playing against Ole Miss tomorrow, and who knows what’s gonna happen; I don’t really care any more. It’s not a home game, so I guess we probably have a better chance to win since we have lost all two of the home games. Go Yankees! Go Yao Ming! Go Hogs!

And for the last part, I’d like to post another short poem to end this long and quiet day.

The Day Is Done

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

The day is done, and the darkness
Falls from the wings of Night,
As a feather is wafted downward
From an eagle in his flight.

I see the lights of the village
Gleam through the rain and the mist,
And a feeling of sadness comes o’er me,
That my soul cannot resist:

A feeling of sadness and longing,
That is not akin to pain,
And resembles sorrow only
As the mist resembles the rain.

Come, read to me some poem,
Some simple and heartfelt lay,
That shall soothe this restless feeling,
And banish the thoughts of day.

Not from the grand old masters,
Not from the bards sublime,
Whose distant footsteps echo
Through the corridors of Time.

For, like strains of martial music,
Their mighty thoughts suggest
Life’s endless toil and endeavor;
And to-night I long for rest.

Read from some humbler poet,
Whose songs gushed from his heart,
As showers from the clouds of summer,
Or tears from the eyelids start;

Who, through long days of labor,
And nights devoid of ease,
Still heard in his soul the music
Of wonderful melodies.

Such songs have power to quiet
The restless pulse of care,
And come like the benediction
That follows after prayer.

Then read from the treasured volume
The poem of thy choice,
And lend to the rhyme of the poet
The beauty of thy voice.

And the night shall be filled with music
And the cares that infest the day,
Shall fold their tents, like the Arabs,
And as silently steal away.

Love is the saddest thing when it goes away

Like any other Saturday nights, I went to ISCA to purify my spirit. We studied the story of Joseph. I was extremely sleepy since I only slept for about 6 hours for the past 2 days. When the study is over, I left in a hurry for Starbucks. It was cold outside, windy and humid. The air smelled like the mix of rain and wet leaves. I was speeding under the dark yellowish lights, imagining whether I could sit besides the one I expected. Maybe it was quite late, not many people were there and of course my wish was not granted. I had a cappuccino instead, and I realized that I have been drinking white chocolate mocha for the past 2 years. Flipping through several photography magazines, my cappuccino was already cold.

On my way home, I visited all the 4 apartments I have lived in. it was like watching an old black and white silent movie. I parked in the spots that I used to park, walked to the trashcans and the mailboxes. Those memories flew through so fast like in a music video. Like the Eric Clapton’s song, I am like a lonely stranger here.

I am not really in a good mood these days, maybe it’s because of the weather, or maybe some day is coming.

Yankees lost, Hogs lost, and don’t forget to turn your clock back one hour.