Awakenings

It’s Friday again, I almost forgot how fast time goes by. I think by this Saturday the daylight saving time is supposed to end, at least I can gain one more hour of sleep. I thought after 5 months I can finally get used to being alone, but after finishing everything for the day, that emptiness still hits me in the head, makes me staring at the keyboard for like forty minutes.

James is not feeling very well today, he looks quite tired and weak. He’s been feeling dizzy all day and I am really worried about him. For a man who is more than 70 years old, who knows what that could mean? Like his Max, I am just afraid one day when I come by his door, no one’s gonna open it for me any more. Maybe I think too much. I finally see Kate again today; it felt pretty good. I never thought I could get so attached to her. Two weeks ago she’s still just a cute dog, but now she’s already my goofy-quiet Kate. She seems knows how I felt, when I open the door, she directly came to me and won’t let go. SeungGwon likes Rudy better, but I think he’s a little too jumpy, or maybe he’s just being a 10 months old dog. James told me Kate was abused when she was young, and someone cut her tail off. I just couldn’t believe someone could do such things to a dog with such big cute eyes. We went to Penguin EDs again and had the same old BBQ, instead, no one’s talking this time, and it seems quiet and helpless.

This Friday night goes quietly and smoothly, and I just noticed that I have been using the word “quiet” 3 times already; it’s a little scary. I watched a movie called “Awakenings”, starring Robert De Niro and Robin Williams. “Awakenings”. It’s a somewhat old movie (1990) directed by Penny Marshall based on a true story. After watching it, I am speechless. I was planning to introduce it to you guys, but I realize that I could not think of anything to describe it. It touched me so much and there is still a mess inside my head right now. Maybe I need sometime to get over it. I found some comments on Amazon.com about this movie, and I’d like to use them to tell you guys what kind movie it is. If you have a chance, please rent it and watch it. If you don’t think it’s a good movie, email me, and I am gonna pay for it.

Rockets beat Spurs tonight with 84:63, and Yao Ming did an excellent job. I hope on tonight’s World Series game, the Yankees could win and brings it to the 7th game. We are playing against Ole Miss tomorrow, and who knows what’s gonna happen; I don’t really care any more. It’s not a home game, so I guess we probably have a better chance to win since we have lost all two of the home games. Go Yankees! Go Yao Ming! Go Hogs!

And for the last part, I’d like to post another short poem to end this long and quiet day.

The Day Is Done

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

The day is done, and the darkness
Falls from the wings of Night,
As a feather is wafted downward
From an eagle in his flight.

I see the lights of the village
Gleam through the rain and the mist,
And a feeling of sadness comes o’er me,
That my soul cannot resist:

A feeling of sadness and longing,
That is not akin to pain,
And resembles sorrow only
As the mist resembles the rain.

Come, read to me some poem,
Some simple and heartfelt lay,
That shall soothe this restless feeling,
And banish the thoughts of day.

Not from the grand old masters,
Not from the bards sublime,
Whose distant footsteps echo
Through the corridors of Time.

For, like strains of martial music,
Their mighty thoughts suggest
Life’s endless toil and endeavor;
And to-night I long for rest.

Read from some humbler poet,
Whose songs gushed from his heart,
As showers from the clouds of summer,
Or tears from the eyelids start;

Who, through long days of labor,
And nights devoid of ease,
Still heard in his soul the music
Of wonderful melodies.

Such songs have power to quiet
The restless pulse of care,
And come like the benediction
That follows after prayer.

Then read from the treasured volume
The poem of thy choice,
And lend to the rhyme of the poet
The beauty of thy voice.

And the night shall be filled with music
And the cares that infest the day,
Shall fold their tents, like the Arabs,
And as silently steal away.

Love is the saddest thing when it goes away

Like any other Saturday nights, I went to ISCA to purify my spirit. We studied the story of Joseph. I was extremely sleepy since I only slept for about 6 hours for the past 2 days. When the study is over, I left in a hurry for Starbucks. It was cold outside, windy and humid. The air smelled like the mix of rain and wet leaves. I was speeding under the dark yellowish lights, imagining whether I could sit besides the one I expected. Maybe it was quite late, not many people were there and of course my wish was not granted. I had a cappuccino instead, and I realized that I have been drinking white chocolate mocha for the past 2 years. Flipping through several photography magazines, my cappuccino was already cold.

On my way home, I visited all the 4 apartments I have lived in. it was like watching an old black and white silent movie. I parked in the spots that I used to park, walked to the trashcans and the mailboxes. Those memories flew through so fast like in a music video. Like the Eric Clapton’s song, I am like a lonely stranger here.

I am not really in a good mood these days, maybe it’s because of the weather, or maybe some day is coming.

Yankees lost, Hogs lost, and don’t forget to turn your clock back one hour.

And Death Shall Have No Dominion

Dylan Thomas

And death shall have no dominion.
Dead men naked they shall be one
With the man in the wind and the west moon;
When their bones are picked clean and the clean bones gone,
They shall have stars at elbow and foot;
Though they go mad they shall be sane,
Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again;
Though lovers be lost love shall not;
And death shall have no dominion.

And death shall have no dominion.
Under the windings of the sea
They lying long shall not die windily;
Twisting on racks when sinews give way,
Strapped to a wheel, yet they shall not break;
Faith in their hands shall snap in two,
And the unicorn evils run them through;
Split all ends up they shan’t crack;
And death shall have no dominion.

And death shall have no dominion.
No more may gulls cry at their ears
Or waves break loud on the seashores;
Where blew a flower may a flower no more
Lift its head to the blows of the rain;
Though they be mad and dead as nails,
Heads of the characters hammer through daisies;
Break in the sun till the sun breaks down,
And death shall have no dominion.

Thankful

I was really blessed those two days. I went to bed after 3 am this morning and I had a very hard time getting up to go to class at 8. Somehow I managed to go without a headache, and guess what? The professor gave everyone that showed up 10 extra points towards the exam score. So it turned my grade from a B to an A.

That was pretty great and I was very thankful that God has been blessing me. So I spend a minute praying to thank him (I almost never do). Then I realized that I have a mid-term for my Logic class, which I have completely forgot during the weekend. (You can see what kind of person I am…crazy…) well, you guessed it, when the exam came, I am not only able to solve every one of the problems, I also got all the extra credit problems.

That completely brightened my day, however, unlike usual, I didn’t feel lucky. Somehow I felt very graceful about all He did for me, not only for those two events, but also for everything, such as bring me into this world, bring me to the US to seek His way. Thank you God.

Usually when someone is feeling lucky, there always is a little voice in the back saying, “be careful, you probably will not be so lucky the next day”. Surprisingly, I didn’t hear that little voice which I always hear. I guess it’s not because of luck.

Photography

I noticed that I am really into photography those days. Yesterday I went to Mount Sequoyah to shoot sunset. While I was waiting for the sun to go down, I realized that I am really enjoying this. However, there are so many things that I need to learn. And the first thing is that I cannot keep using the auto-focus camera to shoot things, otherwise I won’t have any motive to learn about Photography. I am using a Canon Powershot G5. It’s a 5 MP point-and-shoot camera; it lets you adjust almost all the settings however the lens is not swappable. Just about 2 months after I bought this babe, the new Canon EOS Digital Rebel came out, and it’s just $100 more than mine. For those of you that don’t know, Canon EOS Digital Rebel is a digital SLR, and mine is a point-and-shoot. Now I kinda regret about buying the camera so early, if not, I would spend a little more money and get a digital SLR. It’s so much powerful than a point-and-shoot.

So last night I spend almost 5 hours researching on a film SLR; and I found a very good website to learn about those things. Finally it comes to the Nikon FM10 or N80 with a 50mm f/1.4D AF Nikkor lens. The FM10 is complete manual, and you’ll have to adjust everything by yourself before shooting. It’s probably gonna cost you lots of rolls in the beginning, but it’s definitely a great way to learn photography.

BBQ & Berver Lake Pics

It’s a lot harder than I thought to keep up with this weblog everyday. In the beginning I thought I would have enough time write something everyday, but it turns out that either I was too busy or I just forgot about it. And after reading all that I have written, it seems like I was always complaining. Hahaha, every time is about exams, exams and exams. What are other people’s lives like? Maybe they are just too mature to complain about it. Or maybe I am too naïve to bear the pain. Either way, I need to make a change.

So, maybe you have already noticed, I have already put some photos in the “My Photo Album” page. For now just BBQ and Beaver Lake. I probably will upload the Kansas City and SeungGwon Graduation’s pictures. I took more than 400 pictures in NYC, so it’s gonna take me a while to find some good ones and put it out. Oh, by the way, for those of you that don’t know, SeungGwon is my roommate, Graduate Student major in Electrical Engineering. And for those of you who are telling me that I became more handsome, that probably is SeungGwon. I still look the same, maybe with a few more pounds.

So tonight I am gonna introduce a movie to you guys. I rented and watched it the weekend before last one. It’s called “Sex and Lucía“. And no, it’s not a porno. It’s a beautiful movie. The story shifts between past and present, fact and fiction, so a plot summary won’t capture it, but… A young writer named Lorenzo falls into a passionate relationship with a waitress named Lucía. But he also finds himself drawn to a young nanny taking care of a child who just might be the result of an anonymous fling Lorenzo had with a woman he met on an island the year before. Lorenzo fantasizes about the lives of all of these women until a horrific event sends him into a suicidal depression. This may sound obscure or flat, but Sex and Lucía unfolds clearly and beautifully, featuring stunning visual images of both nature and flesh, and weaving a poetic spell. It’s a Spanish movie with English subtitles, directed by Julio Medem and starring Paz Vega as Lucía. Before I watch this movie, my favorite movie was “Amelie”, and I was crazy about Audrey Tautou. However, I discovered that Paz Vega is just as cute as Audrey and a lot sexier then her. Those European actresses just have something that American actresses cannot compare with. And their movies are a lot smarter than American movies.

If you have a chance, I strongly suggest you to rent it and watch it; it’s worth your time.

Good News Bad News

Good news and bad news. The good news is: I did not bad on my western civilization exam, I studied with Yein and caught up some of the notes I missed, I decided to go to the winter retreat in Kansas City, and I went to a Chinese church for the first time in my life. However, there is some bad news: I got to know that Meiyan is leaving, there are some technical difficulties making the photo WebPages, and we lost the game on Saturday.

The only thing that affects me most is that Meiyan is leaving for her new job. Perhaps I should be happy for her, for that she finally find a job that she likes. However, it’s 10-hour drive from here, and I probably don’t get to see her until long holidays. I never would thought that I would be so upset to hear the news, well, not exactly upset, but kinda sad, well, very sad. I’ve known her for almost 4 years, and she is perhaps the only one that felt like a family member to me, although I have plenty of friends here. And she is perhaps the only one that I feel comfortable with to talk about anything. No one has gave me such influence as she did; she introduced me to her boss 3 years ago and I have been working there ever since; she always invites me to the Bible study and I finally made up my mind to come back to ISCA to study the word of God and to seek the truth. So many memories, and now they are indeed will become memories. When she’s around, I never felt how special she is to me; and now she is leaving, I just start to realize that how lucky I am to have such a great friend like her. Perhaps I should look at the bright side, after all getting a job is good news.

I am really looking forward to go the winter retreat in Kansas City before Christmas. According to my knowledge, the winter retreat is that every year, many Chinese Christians get together during Christmas and study the Bible. I am sure that I will learn a lot and I also get too see Meiyan again. Talking about Bible study, I went to a Chinese church for the first time this Sunday. It’s a new church and this was just their second meeting. Because the pastors are from Missouri, Okalahoma and California, we only get to meet once two weeks. It was very nice to hear the word of God in my native language, although I have to admit I felt a little strange singing those songs in Chinese. Because we came from the same cultural background, it felt very comfortable, while in American churches, although the people are very kind, I still felt like an outsider.

About the WebPages, I think the ruler or the measuring system in my Fireworks is messed up. Every time I set up a certain size of image, it will change to a different size after several minutes. I don’t know what’s wrong, but I think I will probably reinstall it tomorrow.

The game on Saturday was not good at all, and personally I don’t think it’s a fair game. They should have counted the touch down Matt Jones scored. But anyway, we will beat Florida. Go Hogs!